Primal Mud Run Race Report

I had a race in warrenton, VA this past weekend. It was the Primal Mud Run. It's an inaugural run and it seemed like they didn't give a whole lot of information out about it. Or perhaps I didn't look into it that clearly. I thought it was a regular 5k ala Warrior Dash, thus, I didn't put too much thought into it. It wasn't until I realized that I hadn't read the participant packet and opened it up that I realized it was different.

It said that if you skip an obstacle, you must do 20 burpees. Burpees are this exercise where you start standing, squat down, kick your feet out so that you're in a plank position, lower down into a pushup, come back up, kick your feet back, and jump up. They make me puke with all the up and down. Zuzana of BodyRock.TV is a fan of them. It goes without saying that I am not.

I stayed the entire weekend in Warrenton because it's really close to my favorite Spa, Poplar Inn. I did not stay at the Inn, though, due to it being "leaf season" and room rates being $279 a night. No thanks. Getting to the race was not a problem, and no parking issues ensued like at RunForYourLives, probably due how how hard the ground is in Virginia and how cold it was.

Ah yes, it was 40 degrees. This did not bode well that even in my normal running attire, I was shivering. It didn't help that I was sick.

When I got marked (they mark you on your forehead like the Tough Mudder and didn't even bother with race bibs, thank you), I looked over at the start line. Now this is where Primal Mud Run is a little bit different than the others. They start you in groups of 4, continuously. You're supposed to get in line 10 minutes before your wave time, but uh...the line was long, so I got in line around 10 (an hour before). They have a group of 4 start and when they've cleared the first couple of obstacles, they send in the next four so that there are no backups.

I have to say, this actually worked. REALLY smart on their part.

Anyway, I looked over and saw that the first obstacle was a 10' wall and that thing about the burpees flashed into my mind. Not to mention, this wall was in full view of the spectators so there was the real possibility that I was going to be doing burpees, immediately, in front of an audience. Great. Then I looked over and saw that immediately after the wall were tires that you had to flip, then a huge cargo net. This was nothing like the Warrior Dash. The obstacles were different than all the other races I'd been in. They were more crossfit-like, and then it occurred to me that this goes along with the "primal" motif as the Paleo-diet people are really into simply "move around and lift heavy things" types of workouts.

I got in line and was talking to this set of 3 women from West Virginia who were really freaked out about doing the wall. I said that if we were in the same heat, I could help them out. I mean, after all, I helped a guy over a wall at Rock Solid 2, so I could practically toss these ladies over. The question is, would they be able to help me?

We saw quite a few guys just LEAP right over in feats of awesome athleticism that leave me drooling in jealousy still. We saw a couple of women make it over themselves like little spider monkeys. When it was our turn, we ran right at the wall, and I stopped, helping each one over until it was my turn. No problem! (if you're on my FB, I have video of this).

Then came the truck tires. I had no problem with this as I am HULKSMASH strong. One of the smaller women did have a problem, though, so I helped her flip hers in order to avoid burpees.




Then came the cargo net. Now, it looks far more secured than it is. You end up with your upper body kinda swinging backwards so you're climbing at this weird incline. The littler woman to my left didn't make it over and had to do the burpees which were enforced (if you didn't, you were kicked off the course).




I'm at the top, trying to convince her to come over, rather than quit

My heart rate was already pretty high at this point, and I was close to throwing up. We ran through a tunnel, over some haybales, and over to this area where we had to pick up at 20 lb sandbag. Then we had to carry it around for awhile, and into this water crossing that went up to my knees and later hips. Holy CRAP was the water cold. It was so cold that I felt like my insides were burning. I also slipped a few times in the mud and fell, complete with the sandbag. I tossed it down where we were supposed to and told the ladies to go on without me. I needed to get my heart rate down because I was close to puking. They reluctantly went on without me and I walked a bit to get my heartrate down until it was time to go into the next water crossing. You have to go across this little pond and under these barrels. The water was so cold that it was paralyzing.





This is me walking off the paralysis of the cold

After this it was a jag of running up this huge hill into the woods. After you get to the top, you go down a slip n slide into a pool at the end. Well that was all fine, except the tarps weren't tamped down at the end and so it was like walking through a pool of tarp sea anemones that trip you up as you try to get out (I don't have pictures from this point until the end). I slipped and fell a few more times. After this was the long jag of running, which I spent run/walking because of the hills. I also kept tripping over the fines that were in the ground due to the fact that vibram five fingers give you five more chances to snag a foot under a vine. I tripped about a bazillion times. During this long running jag, we had more walls to scale 6' and a couple of 5', a bunch of haybales, a wall that you climb with a rope, some balance beams, over unders, etc. I don't think you went more than 1/3 of a mile without some kind of obstacle. We also had to army crawl down these tubes into rocky water and then climb out into mud. Toward the very end, we came upon a monkey bar thing. I was like, "Are you kidding me? I'm soaked, cold, and I can't even feel my fingers." Sure enough, I saw a whole bunch of guys doing burpees. I thought for sure that if I did any burpees, I would puke (again...at this point, I'd thrown up 3 times). I got up and asked the guy, "Can we get over any way that we can?"

He said, "yes, as long as you don't climb on top."

So, i hooked my elbows over each bar, and then hooked my legs over the bars and slowly made my way across by monkeying it with my arms and legs. These guys that were doing burpees were like, "What? How is that fair?" and the guy said, "Hey, she used her brain. Being primal is about being smart, not just strong. Get back to it."

My arms kill, still, from this.

Over some more hay bales and then we came upon the final mud crawl with barbed wire that snagged me.






I was essentially hypothermic for the rest of the day. Even after a hot shower and blankets and warm clothes, I was shivering and my fingertips were blue.

I finished in 1:37 and well...I'm impressed that I did. I know that's slow for essentially a 4 mile course but this was, IMO, a mini Tough Mudder.

Final Thoughts:

They did a great job with parking, but this wasn't a very crowded event.
I'm so happy I didn't have to bother with a bib.
The obstacles were really innovative and interesting, and the course was a good combination of hills.
I do like that you can't skip obstacles or face burpees.
I'd definitely do it again.

I need to work on being in better shape for explosive power and high intensity cardio though. My lungs were practically seized up with how high my heart rate was and I'm still coughing today. It was my last race of the year, but one of my favorites!

So there is nothing next up for awhile! I'm going to start solidifying my race schedule soon.