I'm going to try and make this coherent, but my head hurts still and I should have stayed home today.
We got there just before 9 after riding the bus from the parking lot to the location. The location, by the way, is a ski resort. This should give you some semblance of what types of hills I was dealing with. I drove by, seeing that there was snow, still on the mountains. Oh boy.
I had to bring my signed (death) waiver, get markered on my forehead, and pick up my stuff. Then we went in and caught of glimpse of the insanity.
There were lots of people there, as each day had sold out waves of 500 people (and there were 10 waves). There were stations for the Marines, so that you could see if you could pass the Marine fitness test (something about 20 pullups). Tough Mudder is also associated with the Wounded Warrior project, and TM PA raised 150k as of Monday for them.
My wave was at 10:40 and they tell you to start making your way up the mountain 35 minutes in advance. I got my stuff on and posed:
I said goodbye to Brian and Logan and made my way up the mountain to wait for my wave. Each wave has to run down some snow and ice, then turn a corner and run up a hill with some snow and ice while being hit with snow from snowmaking machines.
This is, of course, after making your way through smoke bombs.
Notice the clown?
So we went up the hill, under a cargo net (while going uphill in ice), and then down a hill into ice, mud, snow and.....freezing cold slip n slides!
Shrek, here, has done every single race, both days.
Notice the clown again?
From there, we clawed/crawled our way up a huge 30%+ grade hill full of mud before entering the Tunnels of Terror. They were so small that you had to army crawl your way through them. And they appeared to be full of rocks. Oh...and they were halfway filled with icy water, since they went through a pit of....icy water. For whatever reason, the water temperatures were not bothering me this time. I believe this is where we encountered the Berlin Walls. These were 3 10' tall walls with no ropes that you had to make your way over. I had to be boosted up by a pair of guys, grab the top, claw my way up, pull up, swing a leg over, then gently set myself down the other side so I didn't break an ankle. One guy said, "Holy SHIT you are heavy!" and I said, "WHAT?" He said, "Naw, I don't mean it in a bad way, but you just look a lot lighter than you are." I guess I carry a lot of muscle.
After being soaked and bruised, we made our way through the first leg of the hugely long trail run where I came upon a sign at the 3 mile marker that said, "If you were doing the Warrior Dash, you'd be done by now."
A couple of miles into the very rocky trail where I swear I almost rolled my ankle a dozen or so times, we came out and encountered a group of obstacles, the first being....eat a flaming hot habenero pepper and then jump into a pit of ice water (literally filled with ice). People were spitting the peppers out into the water, so the water would sting your eyes, fingers, and cuts. Awesome. After everyone threw up, we proceeded down another muddy hill. Then we proceeded UP a muddy hill, but under a cargo net. Then back DOWN the hill of mud and onto these platforms made out of PVC pipe. You had to go up and over, but they were very slippery. From there, I was dying. I desperately wanted some water. The first aid station guy said, "Oh it's only another 150 yards ahead!" What he didn't tell us was that we had to do the 15 ft plunge first. You can see me waiting in line to climb up the platform where a Marine screamed at us to jump in and Underwater Search and Recovery teams waited to
The water was high 30's, really really really cold, jolting, and I sunk really deep into the water when I jumped. I came up sputtering. At this point a bunch of people were suffering from hypothermia and had to have those metallic blankets on them as well as stay in the heating tent. I went over to get some water and continue on to be met with....more water. I had to jump into a mud put and go underwater to avoid the walls. Awesome. And from there? Even more water! This was where you had to get across the rope bridge. A Marine suggested that we just go on the bottom rope and use the water to keep our weight off of us. But...we had to submerge ourselves, unlike everyone else who tried to make it across. I went with his suggestion:
From there, I went into what I thought was a short trail run. It was way rockier than the first trail run and my ankles were starting to hurt. There were a lot of people who were racing for time, even though the guy told us not to, who were trying to pass everyone. I just let them go by and took my time. When I saw mile 6, I was relieved, thinking I was 2/3 of the way done. However, when I saw mile 7, I was wondering wtf was going on because we still had a bunch more obstacles left and I desperately wanted some water. I was starting to break down at this point. I was tired. My abs hurt from picking my legs up so much while jogging/walking through all the rocks. My feet hurt from the rocks. I just wanted some water. Then I saw mile 8 and almost lost it. The race was only supposed to be 9 miles long and I know we had a ton of obstacles left. When I finally made it all the way up the mountain, we had to go through 7 icy pits of mud and ice water. Then came the monkey bars, in which everyone was breaking their legs on. When they were slipping, rather than fall on their butts on the tarps below, they'd try and land on their feet and break legs. After this was the army crawl under razor wire through...not just mud, but ROCKS. I'm so sick of rocks. My knees are all torn up. I believe there was another freakin wall in there too.
Down the icy and muddy hill we went and next up was the fire pit. We had to run through very strong smoke that was being controlled by the fire department. The firefighters were yelling at us, "DO NOT STOP! JUST RUN! RUN TOWARD THE SOUND OF MY VOICE!" because it was so smoky that we couldn't see anything. I threw up again at this point because of all the coughing from the smoke.
From here we had to run up another hill, down another hill, then pick up a log and hike it up a hill then down a hills. I saw a group of Marines carrying a HUGE log that I was afraid would fall out of their hands, roll down the hill, and chase me.
Down the hill with the log and over the cargo nets. They shifted with your weight, so I had to hold myself up with my legs while almost upside down. Dear LORD. Over the cargo nets, over this slippery ass pyramid, and down another hill, then up another hill (I hate hills, seriously). And finally......the electroshock therapy.
Yes, they were 10,000 volts. Yes, it feels like being tasered. There was a guy with a stick who had to fix the wires because they would shock someone then fly up into the air from how hot they were. I have a burn mark on my arm.
Then down another icy hill and tada! We were finished! We had a beer waiting for us, which I wasn't even remotely interested in drinking because all I wanted was water.
I started at 10:40 and finished at 1:50, so I finished just north of 4 hours. It was WAY WAY WAY harder than I was expecting. Everything had rocks in it. The trail run was the WORST because I didn't practice on such technical and rocky terrain. If I'd moved much faster, I probably would have broken an ankle. My shoes did really well and I actually wasn't cold for most of it until I stopped moving. The only problem with my shoes were the rocks. :( I got jabbed in the foot by a jagged rock so many times. :( I also didn't like how few water stations there were. I'm definitely listening, next time, and taking a camelback with me. But my skirtsports clothing held up REALLY well and I was NOT cold, unlike everyone else!
Unfortunately, Brian missed me at the finish line because he couldn't find me. It took me over an hour to find him and I was crying, at that point, because I was so tired and was convinced that he'd left me there or something and I'd never find him since he had my cell phone. I had to borrow someone's phone and call him. Thank god everyone was so nice though (minus the "elitist" assholes who were running for time). There were a lot of people, when I'd sit down on a rock to rest or throw up who told me to keep going and I did the same for them. There was definitely a sense of camaraderie there. I felt really really broken, though, for awhile, especially in those woods and I was sure I was going to quit, which was terrifying for me. I've never quit anything in my life and I was ready to give up. My body was starting to give up too, since I was so exhausted and hadn't packed any carbohydrate gels or anything. But I pushed harder and harder and harder and I finished! I can't believe I did it, but I finished.
Harder than childbirth, no joke.
Here's a bruise on my arm from last night (it's much darker today):
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